You can’t rewrite the past…
But you can feel differently about it
You don’t need to rewrite the past to move forward.
The past is often a major pain point for many of my clients. And I will admit I struggled for years trying to get over the ‘negative past’ hurdle too. The beauty of the past is it teaches us so many wonderful lessons we often don’t realise until much later.
One of my teachers – Byron Katie says, “When you argue with the past, you are only going to lose 100% of the time.” This is so true. The past is factual – it happened and no one is denying that. Facts cannot be changed no matter how hard we try. Many people spend their entire life wishing their past was different, hating their past, regretting something that was said or done or saddened by their past, never letting go of negative emotions. A life lived in wishing, hate, regret or sadness means everything happening in the present is never truly experienced or appreciated.
Your past is your story and you have the choice on how to tell it and what you decide to make it mean. Your story may be true but I ask you, is your story affecting the way you live your life today. If it is then maybe it’s time to change what your past means. The past does not define who you are today and who you want to evolve into unless you allow it. Fear of letting go of a story that is no longer serving you is very real.
So how do you change how you feel about the past?
In previous posts, I have talked about knowing what you are thinking to understand why you are feeling the way you are feeling. The brain is like a very efficient computer and you are the boss. It wants to give you the answers as quickly and efficiently as possible with as little effort as possible. Every day our brains process over 60,000 thoughts, many are on an unconscious level. Many other thoughts are deeply programmed into our minds from years of repetition and we rely on default thoughts for answers.
Most of us live our life on autopilot with thoughts being default thoughts from beliefs we created in our childhood. To change the way you feel about your story, you need to think consciously and identify your beliefs about this story to decide if it is no longing serving you and your happiness in the present moment. By changing the way you think about your past, you also change the way you feel about it.
To understand your thinking a little more, you need to understand the thought cycle. I have created an image for those who learn visually but basically, life is filled with experiences or circumstances. This is anything that is outside of you, including the past. Think of experiences as anything factual and could be proven in a court of law. Life experiences are not in your control. What you decide an experience means is totally in your control. Another way to look at it is every experience creates thoughts in our minds and this is what we have control over. Every thought causes feelings and the way we feel influences our actions. The actions or lack of actions we take determines the outcome.
If you are holding onto the past and it is no longer serving you, I can help you discover the beliefs holding you back. When you change the relationship you have with your mind, you can be free of your past and dream of the future you have always wanted. Book a free 30-minute mini session with me and I will share new ways to free your mind from the negative dialogue. Rewrite the past today!!
Have a wonderful day my friends.
Linking up with Kylie for #IBOT