8 reasons to stop
suffering in silence
It’s time to stop suffering in silence
I never really understood the power of words until I started sharing my words with the world (well to a small group of people who actually read my posts). I often write from Mindset Trainers point of view but sometimes I can easily include my personal experience. Suffering in silence is something I did for over 20 years and my passion for people to speak up and get help is something I am passionate about. I now work with many teenagers on their mental health care – trying to limit those heading down the path of mental illness. The time is right to stop suffering in silence and get your life back on track.
I consider myself a strong and independent woman and it has taken me years to admit that the strong need help too. Before having children, I suffered from an eating disorder for a few years but the mental pressure of dieting stayed around for years afterwards. I still have days where I fight the demons in the mirror but it is my children that bring me back to reality. I will not let them go through years of having a bad relationship with food and poor body image for no reason.
When I had my second child I suffered a little postnatal depression and never told anyone. I was too strong to suffer from depression. I was meant to be the mother and I thought this parenting thing should come naturally. On and off I have fallen victim to bouts of depression and never really opened up because I thought it was a sign of weakness. I was wrong. The day I started to open up and express how I was feeling was the day I finally gave myself permission to be truly happy. And that is where I am at this stage in my life. If you are ready to stop suffering in silence and need good reasons why it’s time to share, then here they are:
- Negative thoughts are enhanced. It’s the inner voice that controls how life is perceived. When you are suffering in silence, you are feeding that inner voice with only negative words and not allowing others around you to show you the positive.
- Any form of treatment will be delayed. Many people who struggle with mental illness require treatment to help get life back under control but when you are suffering in silence, you deny yourself the chance to see if others can help you become a happier, healthier person.
- Symptoms become the normal way of living. It’s time to make the normal way of living the way you want it to be, not the way you think it has to be. Sharing your depression can help you realise that there is more than one way to live your life and it gives you the control to make that decision.
- Not being true to yourself. It is time to stop suffering in silence and give yourself permission to be true to the person you want to be.
- The time suffering depression is lengthened. By sharing with others how you are feeling, you are allowing yourself to find the answers and heal. The silence is like keeping the door closed to the world and never seeing the beautiful little rays of sunshine that can have amazing healing powers.
- It can create greater isolation. Depression can be a lonely existence and the longer the silence, the greater the isolation feels. Suffering in silence can feel like you are living on an island but take the time to look around you and you will soon realise, the island isn’t real and your wellness deserves company.
- Believing self-control is the only way out. Being strong does not equal healthy mental health. Accepting what is happening and understanding that there are experts to help you, may take away some control but will give you back a greater power – life.
- The stigma of mental illness rules your life. You are but one person in this world and realising you will never have control on what others believe or think, you have the choice to let go of the perceived stigma on mental illness and start helping yourself.
For those who are suffering in silence, take time every day to open up and take your life back.
Stay Beautiful
Linking up with Kylie for #IBOT
I’m reading a book (just a novel – fiction) where the main character is depressed and suffering in silence – it’s her lack of joy and how the symptoms are her normal way of living and isolation that are really clear. (of course, for a story, it’s all getting a little out of control, so won’t recommend it just yet – but I thought it openned with quite a good insight into that mindset).
After lots of research I have found that many people still struggle in silence and often it is not even the so-called stigma – it’s their normal and they have accepted it. What is the book?
I think we are slowly making the stigma around MI go away, but it’ll only happen if we keep talking about it!
Slowly Amy. That is why I love doing what I do – working on the mental health of people to help talk and avoid mental illness.
It’s hard asking for help when your mindset is that you’re a mum and mums are meant to be strong and helping others not asking for help themselves!
I know this sounds very cliched Ingrid but the strongest thing women can do is ask for help. We have so many internal pressures and often it affects the people we love the most – our children. Admitting you are struggling is like giving yourself a little gift – a gift that is so amazing when opened.
This is so true. The hardest thing though is taking that first step. When I was suffering with post natal depression and anxiety it was the early childhood centre nurse that finally pushed me. She said I was getting worse and worse every time she saw me and finally asked if I would let her call my doctor on my behalf. She made that appointment for me and then I showed up. So hard though.
That was your journey my friend and the good news is you got help – doesn’t matter how it all started. It is always hard to admit something might be wrong – it’s not in our nature as humans. With help – comes life. Thanks for sharing Deb.
Such a timely post, Natalie. More and more we need to share and to do this means we become vulnerable. I too have had many issues with dieting and self-worth over the years and I finally owned up to them all in a post I wrote late last year. The cancer diagnosis I received made me realise we are all vulnerable in our own ways but we can own that too and share how it really IS. Far too much ‘gloss’ is displayed on social media and whilst I do not want everyone to be ‘woe is me’ there needs to be fair and better balance. Great to read! Thank you. Denyse
So many people have self-image issues and never speak up because of fear of being judged – even more judged than they are judging themselves. The fear of more pain overrides everything else. With only one life – one chance – the opinions of others is bullshit. Understanding your own opinion of yourself is the most important thing. So happy you found your inner voice and you are sharing this with us. Thanks Denyse.
I hope that the more we talk about it, the more people will see getting help as the “normal” thing to do.
OMG – so bloody normal. And it doesn’t matter where you turn – just turn to someone. A friend, a family member, a professional, a colleague – just get the conversation happening.
I have a number of family members who suffer. Some are open about it, while others have struggled silently for far too long. The conversation needs to happen.
It breaks my heart when people don’t feel OK to talk… so much can be done by just putting your hand up.
This is so true! When I got my second cancer diagnosis and was diagnosed with PTSD, I hot footed it to a psychologist. Taking care of our mental health is as important as taking care of our physical wellbeing – I’m so grateful for the time I spent with my psychologist and I still use the strategies I learned and draw on the experience today. Here’s to the breaking of silence!
You are awesome Sammie. In a shitty situation, you have not sat and waited for more negative crap to arrive. You have said I think I will need help with this and done just that. Mwah….
Suffering in silence is something I think many people do because of the stigma around depression and mental health. We are becoming more educated about it and how no one is immune to it. But still, I think society can get better at understanding it more and being more empathetic.
I agree. The moment we all realise just how normal it is to feel low and need to ask someone else to help you through a time in your life, is the moment stigmas will really go.
Great post, Natalie. Opening up and admitting that you need help really makes such a huge difference. I know from personal experience that it’s the only way I know to really start feeling stronger and better, once I’ve spoken about what’s been going on and how I’ve been feeling openly and honestly to those closest to me.
#teamIBOT
There is more pain in hiding away than in asking for help.