Friends We Should Keep
& those we should avoid
Types of friends we should keep
Friends are the family we choose for ourselves. If this saying is true, then we have should be choosing friendships that make us feel good about ourselves and try to avoid friends who drain all our energy.
I work in the mental health sector, not mental illness, working on prevention rather than cure. The MOST important person in your life is YOU!!! If you don’t work in your life then nothing around you seems to continually work well. Friendships are one of the areas that are vital to building a strong mental health and a person’s overall happiness. What makes a good friend? This one is hard to define as it is individual but I would suggest some common traits include honesty, empathy, generosity and trust. Why do we need friendships to thrive in our life?
Why do we need friendships to thrive in our life? Friendships help us survive. Friendships release ‘happy’ hormones such as oxytocin for building a sense of trust and bonding and serotonin is a survival hormone where we are making progress with or against others. Friends we should keep are ones that help us survive, that release the right hormones and that make us want to become the best version of ourselves.
Types of friend’s everyone should keep
- The Counsellor. This person is like a mentor, a teacher who inspires you to be the best version of you without putting other people down. A counsellor will challenge you but only does this for you, not to better themselves.
- The Motivator. This person is always in your corner cheering you on and encouraging you to keep going. The motivator is enthusiastic, energetic and always knows how to pick you up and keep you moving forward.
- The Comedian. This person is there to help you laugh, not only at the funny parts of life but they have a way of making you laugh at yourself when you don’t want to. The comedian teaches you to not take life so seriously and can always be seen with a smile on their face.
- The Dependable. This person is loyal, non-judgmental and will stick by your side through everything. When you know you have made a mistake, this friend will listen, not judge and still love you exactly the same.
- The Thrill Seeker. This friend pushes you outside of your comfort zone to experience life in ways you may have been reluctant to do. This friend moves you from daily routines and will give you a wake-up call that life is meant to be lived.
- The Say-It-As-It-Is. This friend is honest, sometimes brutally honest and can often say things you don’t want to hear. Their honesty is not to hurt you but to bring you back to reality when you need it.
- The Opposite. This friend shares different views from you and has a contrasting way to see life but has the best of intentions. We are naturally attracted to people who are alike, but to learn and grow, having a friend who can teach you to see life through a different lens helps break down stereotypes.
Types of friends to avoid
- The Scorer. This friend is always keeping score of what you have done compared to what they have contributed. This friend doesn’t want you to decide how kind or generous you want to be as it must always be on their terms and so-called even.
- The Gossiper. This friend has no real loyalties to anyone except themselves. They will never let a friendship get in the way of a good story. If a gossiper is telling you a story about another friend, always remember they are probably doing the same thing to you.
- The Taker. This friend plans everything to always get their own way. These people can also be known as energy vampires because they will take first before (if ever) giving anything back. These people are smart and manipulative so be aware.
- The Complainer. This friend is always the victim in every situation. It is never their fault and happy to blame anyone else except themselves. This person feeds on negative attention and loves when other people feel sorry for them. They can be exhausting.
- The Dumper. This friend loves you when they need a friend but quick to dump you when someone better comes along. The dumper is kind at heart but deeply insecure as they constantly need to feel important and happy to gain that feeling anywhere.
- The Pessimist. This friend will always see the glass half empty and wants everyone around to see it too, even if they have resort to making you feel guilty. This person is often angry, resentful and holds grudges so be careful not to cross them.
- The Frenemy. This friend secretly dislikes you but puts on a good show. When you are around this person, always trust your gut instinct as it is often right.
This is a light-hearted view on friendships and we can experience these friends often. Friendships made in childhood, do not need to stay in adulthood. I believe friends are for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Sometimes it takes time to work out which category a friendship falls into but when you do, accept that life is here to teach and that’s the beauty of friends.
What type of friends do you think we should keep?