Life lessons my children
have taught me
When I became a mother, I thought this would always be my role, to teach my children the ways of the world. It never occurred to me that my children would be the ones to teach me many life lessons.
I remember the moment I realised just how much my children were teaching me about living a true and honest life. A few years ago was out with one of my children having one on one time (this doesn’t happen often enough, unfortunately), and they explained why they were behaving the way they were. I was shocked at how articulate this child was in explaining this to me and how confused they also were at how to alter this behaviour. I was listening, truly listening, something I only half-heartedly did before I had children. My children have taught me how to listen, a skill many people take for granted.
I have created a list of some of the things my children have taught me over the past 18 years:
- My children have taught me to show my emotions. This was always a difficult thing for me growing up. I would hold my cards very close to my chest, not letting people in just in case I get hurt. By trying to protect myself from the negative emotions, I was also denying myself all the positive ones too. With my children, I have opened up and let down my guard, finally letting people into my heart and have let these emotions become exposed. We do everything in life to feel a certain way and at the moment, I FEEL AMAZING.
- My children have taught me to be empathetic. Understanding what another person may be feeling and how to be a supportive guide is a skill. I thought I understood empathy in my younger years but I realise it was more on a superficial level. I wanted to understand how another person was feeling but didn’t actually feel it. My children have taught me to see the person, the real person and feel what they are feeling without being patronising. In most situations, I can easily put myself in another person’s shoes and truly know why they did what they did and the emotional pull behind the decision.
- My children have taught me to listen. This is the most powerful part of communication and the often underrated. As a young adult, I would listen to what I wanted to hear, not what people were really telling me. Maybe this was a way of protecting myself or maybe this was just arrogance. Today I listen!!! I understand the importance of listening and the power it gives to a voice. This skill has allowed me to understand people on a deeper level and to meet some amazing people I otherwise would have ignored.
- My children have taught me that I have control over how I am feeling. It is more important to look in the mirror and like what you see than look at your reflection, hoping to see what others expect. When I understood that my thoughts caused how I was feeling and most of the time my thoughts were negative about myself, it was like winning the emotional lottery. If I wanted to angry or sad or hurt all the time, it was my choice. My children taught me just how deserving I was of love and this is a feeling I want to share with so many.
- My children have taught me to not hold grudges. Bitchiness comes naturally to many young girls and women but its negativity eats away inside causing immense pain. Getting out of the cycle by not participating and letting go of people who do, was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. For me, holding grudges is a thing of the past – they consume way too much energy and produce only negative results. When I make mistakes as a parent, my children never hold it against me. Instead, we talk (sometimes argue) but we share our thoughts and feelings and then let it go.
- My children have taught me to value time and live in the now. This has been a hard lesson for me as I am always planning the next thing and use to worry about what others were doing. I know I haven’t wasted time but when you see your babies grow into teenagers and then adults, I realise how much time I spent wishing for the next day, the next week, the next holiday and missing all the good things along the way. Now I cherish the moment I am in, forget the rest of the world and this generates beautiful, longlasting memories.
- My children have taught me to be brave. I’m not sure if I would call myself brave before I had children – maybe more reckless. Getting out of my comfort zone was lost when I first started a family as I didn’t ever want to rock the boat or push my luck. Being an entrepreneur is part of who I am. To deny it is to deny my true self. My children have given me the courage to pursue a career that is different and not widely known – and for this, I am forever grateful. As a by-product of being brave, I have the confidence to choose people in my life who help me grow and to be an amazing woman.
- My children have taught me that saying it and doing it are two different things. People are quick to say what you want to hear but the real meaning behind those words comes in the actions. Honesty begins with yourself and for many years I told myself and others many lies. I would say I am alright when I was struggling. Actions are caused by our feelings and these feelings are caused by our thinking – which is always a choice. Today I choose to have my thoughts and actions aligned with how I want my children thinking and acting – with honesty and integrity.
- My children have taught me acceptance of others. Judging others before I knew them was something I did as a child and young adult. I think back to all the people I judged and how they must have judged me too without taking any time to understand who I really was. The less you judge, the happy you become. And the less you judge others, the less you judge yourself and this can only ever share fantastic results.
- My children have reminded me that I can dream and achieve my goals. This lessons faded for a few years as I became lost in the world of being a mother. I didn’t realise I could still put myself first at times and that I could live my dreams alongside my families. My children taught me to dream again and I taught them that the MOST important in their life is always them. If you work – then everything around works. Dreams are a beautiful way to appreciate this current moment.
What have your children taught you?
Have a wonderful day
Linking up with Kylie for #IBOT and Leanne @ DeepFriedFruit
What a wonderful post!
Big hugs for you Lydia.
Beautiful lessons. My children have taught me about unconditional love- to give and receive! My relationship with them is the truest thing in my life!
I am teaching a class about unconditional love today.. isn’t that funny.
Beautiful post and such important life lessons!
Nothing sweeter than learning life lessons from your own children.
All true, but number 7 is speaking directly to me. There were some people in my life who never treated me well but I’d laugh it off and smooth things over because AWKWARD. It took my children telling me they weren’t nice to me and then watching these people start to treat my children poorly for me to find my strength and say ENOUGH.
And I also learnt point 10. And as a sub-lesson, I learnt that the ‘time on hold’ was okay, too. It’s totally okay to lose yourself to motherhood. I was embarrassed about it for too long.
Isn’t that funny how we can allow ourselves to be treated poorly for many years but if someone hurts our children, we come in fighting
Oh Natalie, what a timely post!! I admire all that you have done and written about here because to ‘expose ourselves’ as non-perfectionists is a challenge. I had never considered myself a perfectionist until just recently when my husband made that observation. It made me think – I am far less forgiving of myself than anyone. In fact, the ‘lesson I learned’ I am going to blog about next Tuesday! With your permission, I would like to add your post to mine too within my post. Thanks in advance, Denyse x
Don’t you get excited when you read a post and can RELATE so much to it? I always think the universe works with you and shows you signs and it’s up to you whether to take the signs and make the changes needed. Of course you have my permission. I look forward to reading it next week.
Such a lovely post…What has my daughter taught me? More than I can say. #TeamLovinLife
It wasn’t until I started to look that I realised how much I had changed.
Listening is what I need to work on! My daughter is always getting cross at my because I try and finish her sentences fro her! I need to just listen and let her time when she is telling me something.
Sometimes we are in a hurry – lol. My second child loves to tell a story R-E-A-L-L-Y slow and I have to be very patient just to wait for her to finish the story. Takes work.
This is just too cute! We do forget sometimes that children have old heads on young shoulders. I think my children (who are now very grownup) have taught me to be less judgmental of others. They always find a way to make me see the other side to a person or situation. #TeamLovinLife
If we could all just be a little less judgmental – the world would honestly be a little better than it is today and everyone would start to be more true to themselves
I love this! I don’t have kids so am exposed to children less often and it does make me conscious of their behaviour more than parents might be. I do notice how accepting they can be, for example – and non-judgemental. Or how they aren’t self-conscious and only become so with societal intervention.
And how easily they find joy is to be envied! #teamlovinlife
I love that you say self-conscious. Imagine a world where all the adults woke each day and didn’t care what other people thought of them and just did their work in the world. WOW that blows my mind.
Children can teach us so many things. I have also learned a lot from my children. #9 is definitely one of the lessons they have reinforced in me. Nice post.
stopping via Lovin’Life
Thanks Suzy for stopping by
Oh #6 is a big one for me, they have most definitely taught me the value of time! They’ve also taught me how little patience I actually have, too, LOL!
#teamIBOT
I used to have little patience, now I am so good at it. Just takes practice for me.
This is such a great post. So true! My children have taught me so much too. Including how to appreciate “modern” music. Was only thinking that yesterday.
Funny you say that because I love the latest music too, even hard core rap.