It’s Your Mental Energy
Share your mental energy with those who deserve it.
I never truly understood the power of mental energy until I became an NLP practitioner and studied the mind. Studies show that people have a limited amount of mental energy to spend each day. Once that mental energy is depleted your decision-making skills and quality of work produced declines rapidly. Research has shown that mental energy for most is greatest in the morning, so I ask you – what is your morning thought routine? Do you wake up fixated on something that happened in the past and how you wish you could change it? Do you wake up with the same concerns for the future – lack of time, lack of money.
Whether your focus this year is on achieving a work goal, or creating a family or earning more money, the common factor to focus on is supporting your mental energy. There is only so much mental energy available, so it is how you use your energy which can determine whether you survive not only the day but the year head.
Mental energy is a finite resource but can be maintained for longer periods depending on those who you share your energy with. Over the past couple of years, I started to take note of my mental energy when I was around certain people and how much mental energy I maintained in their company. I was the type of person who didn’t think it was important to fill up my cup, it was other people’s energy cups I needed to fill. So I constantly drained my cup until there was no more to give. By never replenishing my mental energy, it eventually drizzled to nothing and that was when I had a breakdown. How many times have you given more than you actually had and worked out too late that you were the only one who suffered?
The wrong people drain you. The right people save you
I have learnt that mental energy can be filled quickly when you share it with the right people. Energy can start to be replenished immediately when you are surrounded by people who fill your soul and share their positive energy with you. There will always be people you have to spend time with, a work colleague or family member and maybe these people drain your mental energy. When you are in their company, become aware of your mental energy and begin to protect it from your thinking about the situation. Your power to protect your feelings are held in your thoughts.
So how do you know if you are surrounding yourself with the right people you can share your mental energy with? These people:
- Share your core values
- Listen to you without judgment or negativity
- Make you feel special and worthy
- Understand you can have a bad day but that doesn’t mean you have a bad life.
- Support decisions to let go of things but never allow you to quit.
- Energise you to believe in all possibilities
- Smile – love to smile.
- Believe your fears but do not let you live in fear
How to spot people who want to take your energy and replace it with their negative energy? These people:
- Don’t really listen beyond their own words.
- Make you feel your decisions are not the best decision for you.
- Expect things to go wrong all the time.
- Love to worry about everything.
- Do not like to believe in dreams as dreams never ever come true.
- Prefer to remain unchanged, fearing change.
You are in control of your energy and you determine who you share it with. Life will always have a mixture of positive energy givers and energy takers but you are the one in control of who you share your mental energy with. Make this year be the year where your mental energy becomes a priority and needs to be constantly filled with powerful thoughts and emotions. Choose people who fill you up not drain you.
It’s your mental energy…
Love Always
Linking up with Kylie for #IBOT
So often, choosing how to react can help deal with difficult people- but some are just unbearable. I think we need to be less scared of cutting them off!
I like that Amy – being less scared. Why are we so scared?? When you realise that you live one life and all you control in that life are your thoughts, feelings and actions, not another person, you soon work out who you want to spend your energy on.
Great post. I think it is so important to have boundaries and know it is ok to protect yourself from the energy zappers who bring you down.
Boundaries are so important but most of us say we have them, but never follow through with the consequences.
This reminds me of the quote, you can’t change your friends, but you can change your friends. (It’s all in the intonation!) I think it’s important to support each other, but not at the expense of draining our cups! Great post!
That’s so true – you can’t change your friends… but if the friends you have are not good for you – change your friends. Love it.
My morning starts with a drive so I get to listen to what I want to in that time. I hadn’t really recognized that as being such a positive, so thanks for making me realise that!
It’s your headspace and the morning holds the greatest mind power. Good for you in making it be the exact way you want.
Getting through the mental barriers despite how we feel or think is the big challenge and I know that I am better for doing so. Lately I have had to do this a lot and it is good to know In can. I just need to remind myself! Great post, Natalie, Denyse
You are doing such an amazing job too. Some of the mental barriers we have to get through have been there for a long time which makes it even harder.
Recently I’ve completely cut ties with a person who I used to spend a lot of time with. We hadn’t spoken in almost a year, but it was taking up space having them ‘around’ on things like social media. So I just removed them and when I got through that part of things, I was free of them. And it feels amazing.
Sometimes we need to remove people mentally just like you have Melissa to feel like we can move on. They have no power over your emotions unless you give it to them. If removing them gives you your power back, then that is the best way to start to heal.
Ahhhh so good to read a post on this topic Natalie because I find that my mental energy is much more precious and easily drained as I’ve gotten older. I thought it was because I was an introvert but maybe not? I do seem to attract people that drain my energy because I am such an empathetic, caring and nurturing kind of person. People come to me with their problems. However, I am trying harder to limit my time with draining people because it leaves me so depleted that I am unable to be as productive as I’d like to be. I could talk for ages on this topic! 🙂 #TeamLovinLife
Hey Min, I can hear your pain. The first thing you need to do is protect your energy by finding the right people to surround yourself with. Many empaths struggle in this area because you are usually such easy people to talk to and you make others feel the way they want to feel. But in doing that, you end up with little left for yourself. Have you read the book “The Charge” by Brendon Burchard? The chapter on Connection. He talks about writing down all the people in your life and break them into groups – 1. People who no longer are friends. 2. Maintenance friends & 3 growth friends. The growth friends are the ones you purposefully spend time with.
This was a really interesting read – my husband’s family suffers from chronic depression brought about by low Seratonin – they burn thru it at a really fast rate – and the more negativity they deal with, the faster they use it up (basically it’s their mental energy reservoir). I find people who suck your mental energy dry are SUCH hard work – my work colleague is a classic example – she exhausts me by the end of the day – soooo much drama!
These people are so difficult to be around, especially when you are in a work environment where you require some connection. I have had to quit a job because of this reason, I was heading towards a breakdown and needed to remove myself from the constant negative drainers.
This is so true. I’ve found that in my circle of friends, some are very draining and negative, whereas others are uplifting and positive. I tend to be drawn towards the more uplifting types and have discovered that it’s sometimes in your own best interest to let the naysayers go. Great post. #TeamLovinLife
I agree Kathy. It’s not always easy but at the end of the day – if you are not OK then neither is your life and it affects those closest to you.
This is all so true! I’ve had to let certain people go from my life because it was just way too draining to keep them around. It’s always hard to do, but I’m definitely happier in the long run for making that choice.
#teamIBOT
I like to think about it in a different way Kylie – if I am not working in my own life – then nothing works.