Attitude or Gratitude?
Do you actively practise gratitude?
Do you actively practise gratitude or is it simply your attitude?
There are always words that trend the internet and people constantly use them. I think gratitude is definitely one of them. So what is gratitude? The dictionary definition is the quality of being thankful or the readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. It is a powerful word which I think gets thrown around a little too much. Do you actively practise gratitude or is it more of an attitude?
I teach and develop senior school students how to think in ways that benefit them in life but one essential component is accepting ALL emotions. The ultimate goal is to help students be able to walk into any room, any situation and no matters what happens – good or not so good, give them ways to handle it. The key to resilience is experiencing, understanding and working through all emotions. When children are little, many parents try to protect their child from the ‘negative emotions’ but pushing them aside or saying things like ‘don’t worry – you’ll be alright’. It is very understandable that we want to protect them.
However, any adult knows that life doesn’t actually work that way. The human experience is filled with the yin & yang of emotions. To truly feel happiness, we need to feel and understand sadness. To know how to cope with disappointment, we need to experience it and then we can truly understand just how good achievement feels.
I’m an evidence-based type of person. As I study the brain, I love when I can read research and facts to back statistics up. We have uncovered more facts about the brain over the 7 or so years than ever before. One fact is that the brain can rewire itself. The brain creates pathways – neural pathways – that are required for efficiency. The brain loves to be fast, efficient and correct. These pathways help the brain conserve its energy by allowing some thoughts to be on autopilot. Think of neural connections as road maps in your brain. However, research has shown we can now create new roads and remove old roads that are no longer being used through synaptic pruning.
So where am I heading with all of this? When it comes to gratitude, if you actively practise gratitude on a daily basis, you start to rewire the brain to scan the world for the positive. This type of scanning is creating new neural pathways that help the brain be fast efficient and correct – and focusing on the positive things life has to offer. If you can actively practise gratitude and not just have a gratitude attitude for 21-days straight, your brain is 3 times more likely to notice a positive.
One simple way to start to practise gratitude is to answer these 3 simple questions every day:
- What was the BEST thing that happened to me today?
- Who in my life am I most grateful for today and why?
- When I focus on tomorrow, what am I looking forward to the most?
If you can ask yourself these 3 easy questions every day for 21-days, writing down the answers, you will have started to create an amazingly awesome neural pathway to scan the world in a positive light more often. There are a few little rules that I like to include when actively practising gratitude and not just pretending to have a gratitude attitude. These rules are simple but essential to help you evolve into a better version of yourself. Some days will be harder than others. If you don’t get a chance to write the answers down every day, that’s OK, just tell yourself the answer. And don’t beat yourself up if you struggle for answers.
And… if you really want to take this ‘gratitude’ attitude to the next level, why not try asking yourself these questions for double the time and you will start to see results such as:
- increased levels of energy
- feelings of happiness are more frequent and for longer periods of time.
- each day is started on a more optimistic level with enthusiasm a natural element daily.
- the ability to focus on tasks for longer periods
- have a better quality of sleep each night
- decrease levels of depression and anxiety
If you want to get into practising gratitude, then try this for 21-days. It is not difficult and it can (will) change the way you see the world.
Love always
Linking up with Kylie for #IBOT & Leanne @ DeepFriedFruit
Interesting post. I think it’s okay to be angry and sad. I find it weird when people express this stuff on FB and others get annoyed with the whining – but when they only post good things, people get annoyed with them not being real…I think we’re all things and it’s good to let them out in the world to kiss them goodbye. #IBOT
So so so true. We are all things. We all get angry. We all get annoyed. And the only way to live an honest, wholehearted life – it to live every emotion.
I think forcing yourself to think positivity has been talked up over the years but the reality is, as you say, all emotions are valid and important!
I am a big believer that we need to experience and learn how to handle negative emotions. It is part of the human experience.
I think you’re right that we have to learn how to deal with the whole smorgasboard of emotions. Life happens and not always the way we want it to, but I think the practice of gratitude and practising positivity doesn’t protect us from the stuff that life throws at us, it just helps us better deal with it. I’ve never kept a gratitude journal – just not my thing – but I’m going to run through your questions every night before I go to sleep. Will report back!
I totally agree that being grateful doesn’t protect you from the crappy stuff but it does help you deal with it. I have never kept a journal but recently started. I love that you will just ask yourself the questions each night – it will train your brain no matter which way you do it.
So so good to see this and yes, I do as best as I can find something to be grateful for each day. Recently I had to cope with a setback of needing further surgery but I have now filed the thinking under grateful for: a highly professional team caring for me who would not be doing this unless they knew it was right for my mouth and future eating!! Denyse x
That is so amazing of you. I read about your setback and I have always loved your strong & consistent attitude. That doesn’t mean we don’t get upset and feel sorry for ourselves when stuff doesn’t go our way, but we bounce back quicker every time. You are truly an inspiration Denyse.
It’s all about the textures in life. Like how that fabulous light exists only on either side of a storm, or a rainbow after the rain. You can’t feel happiness unless you also can feel sad…or any other emotion. I think I’m generally quite positive, but know I’m not as resilient as I could be. ‘m giving this a go for 21 days. #teamlovinlife
That was beautiful Jo. I love the comparison of the light on both sides of a storm. Good on you for giving it a go – even though I can see you already feel life’s beauty.
Neuroplasticity I think might be the word for the brain ‘rewiring’ or ‘remodelling’ itself. My post this week also talks quite a bit about the science of the brain. Such interesting stuff! Speaking of gratitude – I need to get back into this practice but I know that it works. It helped me years ago to reconnect to life, be present, and to have a much more positive perspective. I did a 365 Grateful Project where I look a photograph of something I was grateful for each day for 1 whole year. It had such an impact on my life! 🙂 #TeamLovinLife
That’s what it is known as – neuroplasticity and I find it fascinating too. I have never been one to keep a gratitude journal until recently and I only started to see if anything would change. I believe in the power of the mind so deeply that I wanted to research gratitude on myself. It works – it really works.
I couldn’t agree more Natalie. It really does make a difference to think positively each and every day by starting the day with an affirmation of what you’re grateful for. I usually do this whilst I’m walking along the beach with my dog. It really does put me in a great frame of mind for the day ahead. #TeamLovinLife
That sounds like the perfect way to start any day – affirmation, walking, dogs & beach – my favourite things too.
Great idea, Natalie! I think I definitely need to start doing that!
#teamIBOT
I suppose as the saying goes, “Practise makes perfect.”
I used to have to practice gratitude (back 10 or so years ago) after going through the ups and downs of the fibromyalgia diagnosis, and now it’s just part of me. Now it’s just natural. I feel like I naturally feel grateful for life and all its elements. Not sure if it was part of me previously or whether I had to learn it. Can’t remember! But it feels good,
That should be the ultimate goal for everyone Leanne – for gratitude to become such a natural part of your everyday. You are awesome.