A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime
Supporting your flow of energy
Everyone has different needs, different values & beliefs and this combination are what determines the types of people you should have in your tribe. The people you surround yourself with are there for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Everyone has a story and each is unique. Before you can work on your tribe, you must first work on yourself. This can be scary as it forces you to really look deep at yourself, analysing all your traits. Looking at yourself intimately brings out vulnerability. No one wants to feel vulnerable but in order to grow, to find that inner happiness you deserve, you need to open yourself up to being vulnerable.
Growing up, I was the teenager who got very jealous when I felt like I was being left out. I wanted to wrap up a couple of my close friends and not share them with anyone. If someone tried to worm their way into our friendship group, I saw red. How dare they try to break up a perfect friendship? This is when I would turn nasty against the “new” girl trying to just be friends with us. I always thought people liked my other friends more than they liked me and that broke my heart. If I look back and speak honestly, it probably wasn’t that they didn’t like me, it was that I wouldn’t allow them to come into my friendship group and turned into a bitch. I know who I would prefer to hang around with – the nice girl or the bitch!!
Groups of three don’t work unless you are extremely secure in your own skin. Three means someone is always left out. I had a few experiences with a three friendship and I hated every minute of it. I was either jealous or angry or hurt or depressed. What a shit way to feel around friends?
It wasn’t until I was much older (and mean a lot older) that I started to like myself more and started putting myself first. If someone didn’t make me feel good about myself, why would I continue to give them my time? Time is so precious that every minute should be spent with people who boost your energy, not drain it.
A REASON – this is someone who enters your life to help your through a difficult time and will provide the perfect support – emotionally, physically or spiritually. They always seem to say the right words or call you when you are at your lowest. They appear to be the strength you are lacking and you rely on their kind heart and soul.
Without explanation, this person leaves your life, either a slow departure or very abruptly. Sometimes this occurs because of a disagreement after such an intense relationship. Sometimes your hand is forced or they simply walk away. I now understand that when this happens, as sad as I feel at the loss of a friendship, my need has been filled and we no longer need each in the same way. The reason has passed and it is time to move on.
A SEASON – this is a person who you will learn from and you will reciprocate the teaching. This learning period is your time to grow, become a better person and share your beauty with this friend. This person often brings such happiness and a deep level of love.
Unfortunately when the learning comes to and end so too does the friendship. This friendship can bring such pain when it ends as one person may have moved on long before the other person but it will always remain deep in your memory. I have had these friendships and they have shaped the person I am today.
A LIFETIME – this person touches your heart and soul like no one else can. This includes a lifetime of learning, building on each, learning from each other and always has a strong emotional connection. Once you accept this person, it no longer matters whether you see each other daily, monthly or yearly, the foundation is solid and friendship is forever.
When I understood this, I started to understand my past, my present and my future on a deeper level. I no longer feel guilty if a friend has moved on. I have forgiven myself when I made mistakes as I have to live with me forever. Sometimes in life, changes happen we do not want or accept but new changes can be just as exciting and beneficial.
Do you have friendships that have been for a reason, a season, a lifetime?
Linking up with Kylie Purtell for #IBOT
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